Our family was split from each other for about four years of our lives. James worked from 7-midnight for about two years, and then he worked from 7-2 a.m. working on his masters degree for another two years. He has worked so hard to help us overcome financial disasters and provide for our growing family, and I am forever grateful for him. And I am especially grateful that we’re finally in a place where we get to see him A LOT!
At the beginning of the year we made a goal to try to do something out-of-the-ordinary on days when the kids had a break from school and we had the day off from work. In the past we usually spent the day sleeping in and lounging around (overworked much?), but this year we wanted to actually do fun activities with the kids.
Lately I haven’t felt much energy to do anything, but the cool thing with kids are – they don’t require a lot to feel special. One of our kids favorite things in the world is going to McDonalds and going to the play place. They LOVE it. They even ask for it for their birthdays. And the cool thing about it? It doesn’t take a lot of energy out of their mom to sit down and watch them play. With seasonal depression and low-low-low energy, this was the perfect formula for a fun day for our kids… Add in a special paid-for treat by a loving Gma (Grandma), and you have what our kids call “The Best Day Ever”.
Here’s a video of how we celebrated our day off on President’s Day.
And here are some of our top tips that have helped us to Prioritize family time this year:
How To Prioritize Family Time Together
1. Schedule your family time in your calendar.
Yep. You read that correctly. Open up your phone, look at your schedule, and schedule in time with your family. Don’t leave it up to chance. We like to look at any days that our kids are out of school and we’re off work too, and take advantage of those days together. Right now our budget is pretty tight as we work to pay off our debt, and we’re in the middle of a freezing winter with no real desire to spend it outdoors, but once it warms up you better believe we can easily find some exciting (and free) adventures to do with the kids outside.
2. Establish When You Will Be DONE With Work
Sometimes work can spill into our personal lives. It happens. As teachers, James and I are constantly grading, talking to students, answering emails, and talking to other colleagues. When we were freelancers, this was even worse because we obviously worked odd hours around our kid’s naptimes and things.
We aren’t saying you have to ABSOLUTELY keep your work and personal lives separate.
But we are suggesting that you give yourself an end-time to turn off work and focus on relaxing and being with family. Setting work hours, even while at home, can help you remember to be present and take time to unwind and be a parent.
3. Take Advantage of Activities The Entire Family Enjoys Together
Our free time should be fun and enjoyable, not headache-inducing. What activities do you, as a parent, like to do with your children? I always envisioned loving cooking in the kitchen with my kids, but the reality is I’m just not that type of mom. I would rather cuddle up reading books, going on hikes looking at horses and Llamas nearby, and eating food I didn’t have to endure making with my children. What are activities that you and your children enjoy doing and plan more of THOSE things.
4. Set Aside Family Time On Your Days Off
I’m not talking just about the days we mentioned above where the kids have a day off of school on the same day that you get a paid holiday off of work. I’m talking about any breaks you may get with work. For us, we don’t have to teach classes on Saturdays or Sundays. We make Sunday nights our family home evening night that we not only focus on our kids, but we regularly hang out with extended family that live nearby as well.
5. Be Creative With Your Time
James and I have felt a need to spend more quality one-on-one time with our kids, but found ourselves struggling to actually do it. Sometimes our work schedules don’t give us hours and hours of time that we can spend with our kids, especially individually with them being so young. But we found that being a little creative helped us find little pockets to spend with each other and our children. We bet if you took some time and got creative, you could find a solution too!
For us, there’s a sweet spot right after we say our family prayers and send kids to bed that just ate up our time. We aren’t super productive with grading or work because the kids come up and down the stairs for twenty minutes asking questions, wanting drinks, and can’t find toothbrushes. (You get the picture.) So we decided this was a perfect time to spend some one-on-one attention with our kids. One night a week, each of our 4 kids gets a turn staying up later than their other 3 siblings and they get to do something with mom or dad or both of us. The kids decide what activity to do, and we set a timer for 15 minutes. We ask them about their day, play games with them and cuddle, and when the other siblings come down we give them a warning that if they’re out of their beds anymore we’ll have to start taking away time from their own 15-minutes of special one-on-one time with mom when it’s their turn. We’ve been doing this for about half a year now and we haven’t had to fight kids to go to bed, and we get to have time with each of them individually without having to do any planning on our own part. It’s a win-win.
We are definitely far from experts in this arena, but these are all things we’ve personally done that have helped us make sure that in the hustle-and-bustle of life we don’t forget what is most important to us. If you have that same desire and goal too, I hope these tips help.
